Hot toddy

Dear Mr. Armitage,

Today, we are discussing vocabulary, what it means to be a fan and your (occasional?) discomfort with us in our little corner of the fandom here and here.

One of the things that always comes up in my mind in connection with this is your aversion to being considered “male totty“ and honestly, I get it to an extent. Not that I have much experience with that myself (the totty part; most certainly not the male part). This is coming to you from the brainy nerd girl who was never, ever cool or popular. Being reduced to my looks has not been a particular problem of mine. And yet I think I can imagine how that would be annoying.

I‘m always torn about this with regard to myself. I want to be respectful of course and your looks are not the only thing I like about you. Not at all. Trust me when I say that I wouldn’t cross the street for just a pretty face, let alone international waters.

On the other hand, we simply cannot discount the fact that you are—as Louise might put it—fecking gorgeous. Sorry, it‘s true. The whole “they love my characters, not me“ and “I don‘t have the face to be the romantic hero“ are either well-calculated modesty or a genuine failure to accurately judge what looks back at you from a mirror, but I cannot pretend it doesn’t matter to my fandom. It does. You are objectively and subjectively delightful to look at. I do it often and I always enjoy it.

I see that this is not what you want to be liked for. I probably wouldn‘t either. We want to be liked for our achievements, not an accident of nature.

The thing is, your job is a special case. Your looks matter there as well. And yes, sometimes you do get cast for your 6‘2-ness along with the clear blue eyes and impressive facial structure (we won’t go into the menacing thing here today) as well as for your talent. And those open-shirted photo shoots aren‘t done for science even if our perusal of the same certainly is. They exist because you are incredibly attractive.

And here starts the dilemma. Where is the line? Where does good-natured appraisal stop and malicious ogling start? Do you have to grin and bear it? Do I have to be more restrained?

I read comments that make me cringe and I have been called a party pooper for saying so. But I am no angel. I can‘t and won‘t pretend that your acting talent alone is what drew me to you and that my fandom exists in a vacuum where your physical attributes don‘t matter. I‘m human. You‘re beautiful. There you have it.

Just know that you are not any old hunky actor. You are the best kind. The whole package. The real deal. You’ve got talent and a personality to back up those looks. If we sometimes go a little nuts because of them, it‘s because we can‘t help it.

Undecidedly yours,

11 thoughts on “Hot toddy

    1. Awww, thanks.

      I had a rare bout of instant inspiration triggered by the discussion on your blog and twenty minutes to myself right that moment. Lucky coincidence. Usually I get distracted somehow and then it’s gone.

      Liked by 2 people

  1. Well said, Kate.
    Richard has said that he knows what he is selling, so I comfort myself with that whenever I start to feel as though I’m objectifying him too much 😉 (I still don’t know where that line is drawn, it’s just a slightly ashamed feeling that comes over me sometimes!) It’s been said by a few people over the years and it still holds true for me; if it was purely just about his good looks, my crush would’ve been over by now. The fact he is a decent, beautiful human being with a superb talent as well keeps me coming back for more.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. That is some comfort. I’m really torn on this sometimes, but by god he is beautiful. And it isn’t ever about reducing him to his looks. He’s so much more than that, but the view is gorgeous—always.


  2. Agree with every word Kate and neither fan and certainly not well-wisher describe my feelings . They are both terms devoid of passion and passion is what I feel for Armitage. And you’re also right, he isn’t just an extraordinarly beautiful man, he so much more and that increases his desirability.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I use fan. It’s simple, it’s straightforward and there is no word that adequately expresses what I feel.
      And yes, he’s beautiful on so many levels.

      Liked by 1 person

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