Is everybody happy? Or at least marginally alright? Wow, that was a round, wasn’t it? Well, some of you found it very easy, but I think quite a few people were hard pressed to cliff one of the gentlemen in this round. Phew.
Now that we’ve made the hard choices, let’s look at how Thorin, Ricky and Portah fared.
In a shocking upset, Portah has won two categories. 2. TWO. T-W-O. Wow. So he gets more nookie than anyone, either as a quick shag or in a loving marriage. John sure knows how to impress the ladies. Thorin narrowly takes the questionable honor of being king of the cliffs. And Ricky is always a step behind.
Yours truly still owes her choices, so here we go. Let‘s start with the unpleasant one first. Apologies
and nobody tell my fish about this, but it‘ll have to be the cliffs for Thorin. Eagles, other dwarves or barrels will be there to save him, I am sure, but I like a tall guy. I am tall myself and real-life RA just makes the cut, so a dwarf is not for me. Farewell, your majesty.
Now that that is out of the way, I will have to indulge my black leather fetish with the distractingly delightful Mr. Deeming. Yes, please! And once more, with feeling. I‘m gonna go with the optimistic stance of he swings both ways, which is totes magotes cool with me.
Which leads us to the one, the only John Portah. Yes, how can I of all people choose to marry a
nother soldier? I know the heartbreak that brings. And yet, I find him irresistible. “Those eyes, those thighs,“ she sighs. Portah is a good man. I politely disagree with the assessment that he is a bad husband and father. He is broken and no wonder. But I will convince him to leave all that behind and we will live somewhere nice and quiet, where he gets lots of fresh air and exercise… and I‘m gonna watch him be outdoorsy and take care of him. Wedded bliss for Kate Porter. Has a nice ring to it, don‘t you think? Incidentally, nobody tell Mr. Kate about this. And don’t you dare mention the words season two.
So, now that we’ve taken care of the Britta of rounds, on to the nickel round. Here are your contestants for Round 5: